The Perfect Wedding Photographer

A picture can say a thousand words, and what better day to capture precious moments than on your wedding day.  Finding the perfect wedding photographer at a reasonable price can be challenging, especially if you want the photographer to be knowledgeable about Jewish wedding customs and details that tell your Jewish Wedding story.  Of course, going with top photography vendors that have won awards may be a great way to feel comfortable with a photographer’s reputation.  Wedding Wire has their list of top photographers given the Bride's ChoiceAward for 2012. 

My fiance had the heavy responsibility of choosing our wedding photographer mainly because this falls under Groom’s expenses (see my blog about FLOP), and his top criteria for selection was budget (as in, the cheaper the better).  The good news (for me!) was that the photographer he chose happened to be an award-winning photojournalist, having won First Prize in the World Press Photo competition and nomination for the Pulitzer Prize.  My fiance did not know this at the time but he had seen some recent wedding photographs taken by Gulnara of our friend’s wedding and also knew the price may be negotiable. 

 Factors that impact Pricing and Negotiations:

• Number of Hours for the Day:  Depending on the photographer and the package, they may charge extra if the number of hours expected to take photographs goes beyond a limit.
• Travel Time and Travel Expenses:  A longer commute for the photographer could mean a higher price tag for you, so be sure to think about where the photographer is traveling from to get to your wedding site.
• Number of Locations:  Maybe you want a backdrop of Times Square, a yellow cab, a bridge in Central Park, or The Pop Art Love Sculpture by Robert Indiana located on Sixth Avenue in NYC.  The more places to travel and sites to shoot will increase costs.   
• Number of Photographers:  The number of photographers needed to cover all of the details throughout the day could get pricey, so you may want to be more selective on when it is most necessary to have additional photographers on site.
• Defining the “Package”:  Typically, photographers will provide different Package options that can impact costs. 

Prior to the wedding a photographer may have you fill out a questionnaire to get a better sense of the flow of your wedding day and expectations on what is to be photographed.  A good photographer should discuss what you envision for the day and try to identify the most important details to capture.  While some items may seem like common sense to include, it is far better to remind your photographer of critical photographs to take rather than find out after the wedding that the photographs were not shot. The walk-through of your vision is the perfect opportunity to include a list of critical Jewish customs expected to occur throughout the day. 

The following table provides a list of some items that will help tell your Jewish Wedding Day story:

 

Lastly, enjoy being photographed and have some FUN!  The best pictures can be when you are in a most spontaneous moment.

The Custom of Breaking Glass Under the Chuppah

Why is there a custom of breaking glass under the chuppah at a Jewish Wedding?

The quick answer is that the breaking of glass commemorates the destruction of the Temple / Bet Hamikdash.  The tradition is for the groom to break glass by stomping on it with his foot, and this happens upon the completion of the seven blessings / sheva brachot that are recited under the chuppah.  The glass is typically some sort of whole glass object such as a glass cup, but it is also typical to use a light bulb since it is made of glass and can easily be broken when stepped on.  The glass object is wrapped in cloth or paper and placed on the ground near the groom.  The groom steps on the glass until it is broken and this concludes the chuppah ceremony.

It seems ironic to leave the chuppah, the place where two souls are united as one, with the sound of broken glass and the shattering of something that was once whole into lots of tiny sharp pieces.  But just like glass, marriage is fragile and can shatter.  The chuppah is a place to recognize G-d's presence both in our union as husband and wife and in the covenant between G-d and the Jewish people.  This spiritual connection provides strength for us, even in our most fragile moments and when things could shatter.

An interesting way to capture the moment is to save the broken pieces of glass and then have them "frozen" in a Lucite cube as a keepsake.  Here's a picture of a Rectangular Wedding Glass Lucite Cube by Treasured Collection:

Feel free to add comments or questions about this post.

Looking for Stylish Modest Wedding Gowns?

Well hello J.Crew!  J.Crew's 2012 wedding collection is offering up two stylish modest wedding gowns that require few alterations.  Are wedding gowns with long-sleeves finally making a come back?  You tell me...

More Stylish Modest Bridesmaid’s Dresses

Bloomingdale's latest wedding lookbook offers up some stylish modest bridal dresses.  And for those winter brides out there, check out the faux fur wrap... a great solution to making your wedding dress more modest!

Wedding Dresses with Sleeves are Popular (Again)

Glamour magazine has published their top choices for wedding dresses in 2011, and I am excited to say several of these dresses have sleeves!!!  Could it be that secular fashion is turning its back on exposed skin in favor of the modest looks from the past?  According to Glamour's taste for 2011, the answer is a resounding YES.  As fashion moves forward and we enter 2012, there is more than a glimmer of hope that modesty is making a come back, and the new modest fashion trends seen on the catwalk will make their way to your local stores.  Finally!  Here are some of Glamour's top wedding dresses of 2011:

Stylish Modest Bridesmaid’s Dresses

If you’re looking for long-sleeve evening dresses now is the time to find them.  As the winter months approach, several major department stores offer a wider selection of long-sleeve options.  Not to mention, you’ll find sales, discounts and perks like free shipping and free returns at these stores around this time.  I’ve found the best selection of stylish modest dresses to be at Macy’s, Nordstrom, Dillard’s and Bloomingdales.  While some of these dresses can get pricey, most are affordable and don’t require a schlep to a seamstress for customized cuts.  

There are also certain brands that tend to offer long-sleeve options in their selection of styles.  Brands such as SL Fashions, Alex Evenings, Adrianna Papell, JS Collections, Maggy London, and Diane Von Furstenberg offer some elegant modest styles.

Check out these stylish modest bridesmaid’s dresses:

 Still can't find the perfect long-sleeve dress for your special occasion?  Feel free to contact me or type a  comment in the Comment section.

Jewish Bands that Rock: Orchestras / Bands for your Jewish Wedding

Any good band will claim to play pretty much anything the customer requests, but they may not be well-versed in the various styles of Jewish music.  Jewish orchestras and bands can play an assortment of Jewish music, from Klezmer to Tel Aviv techno to Israeli folk, like the back of their hand.  In our search for the perfect Jewish wedding band, we found that (at least in the metro-NY area) it seems several Jewish bands and orchestras choose from the same repository of musicians looking to play at a “gig”.  Thus, the name of the music group may differ but the actual musicians / talent in the group has overlap, and that overlap means the quality of the music being played may not differ by much between these music groups.  That being said, when we searched for our Jewish band our focus was less on the quality of the musicians in the group and more on how to get the biggest bang for the buck.  There is room for negotiation on Several Factors that Impact Price, such as:

the Number of Musicians needed, Type of Instrument (i.e., string, vocal, base, etc), Number of Hours needed to perform, if you or a family member or friend are “Connected”, and whether the band or orchestra is Willing to Reduce their Price to fit your budget.

We wanted a reputable Jewish music band and a reduced price, and that’s exactly what we got.  How?  The key to our discount was:

• Average Cost of a Jewish Band / Orchestra:  Establish the “going rate” by calling some of the reputable Jewish music groups and asking for price ranges to play at a wedding.  For us (in 2010), the range was between $4,000 - $10,000.

• Reputation Rules:  Ask family members or friends to think of the music groups used at Jewish events that they enjoyed most.  Word of mouth can help confirm the quality and professionalism of the band.  Several music groups offer music samples on their websites…listening to them may help alleviate any anxieties about their quality.

• Stay Local:  Choose a band that does not require you to pay for travel costs to get to the wedding.  Travel costs can add up.

• Use your Connections:  Some of your family members or friends may be “connected” to musicians in a band that can drop a name and help drop costs.

• Negotiate to Fit your Budget:  The strategy that worked for us was to inform the band that another reputable band was offering $4,500 dollars…much higher than our budget would allow—then we simply asked:  Can you do better?  This actually worked with the band we ended up choosing, and they did an incredible job.  Another notable strategy is to say flat out that you can only afford X dollars (fill in the blank), and ask whether they have options for reducing the price by only working for a shorter number of hours, using less musicians, or using instruments that are less pricey.

In our search for the perfect Jewish band for our metro-NY wedding, we asked several family members and friends to tell us what they think.  

Here is the compiled list of Jewish Orchestras / Bands (admittedly not a complete list, just those highly recommended to us):

• BaRock:  Contact Ari Green; http://barockorchestra.com/
• Greg Wall:  Contact Greg Wall:  201-294-3297; http://simchaallstars.com/klezmerfest/index.html
• Nafshenu Orchestra:  Call 516-371-6660; http://www.nafshenu.com/main/
• Neshoma Orchestra: Contact Jordan Hirsch:  201-837-1396; http://www.neshomaorchestra.com/
• Shalom Orchestra:  Call 212-875-1600; http://www.shalomentertainment.com/
• Shtreiml: Email Jason Rosenblatt; visit www.shtreiml.com
• Yitzi Spinner:  http://www.yitzyspinner.com

Please feel free to recommend your favorite Jewish orchestra or band.

Jewish Wedding Ceremony Program: Sample

As with other customs, there are several traditions that take place at an Orthodox Jewish Wedding, yet not all guests at the wedding may know these traditions or have ever been exposed to an Orthodox Jewish Wedding in the past.  To enhance their experience, it is always beneficial to provide a Ceremony Program that includes an explanation of the Orthodox Jewish Wedding traditions.  But writing a Ceremony Program that is both concise and well-rounded can be difficult.  For those of you looking for an Orthodox Jewish Wedding Ceremony Program template, look no farther.  Below is a sample ceremony program template that does a great job describing the symbolism behind traditions in a Jewish Wedding, along with an overview of key features before the wedding ceremony and after.  Since this is a template, personalize it by inserting the groom or bride's name (or other indicated name) in the places that are bracketed.

Jewish Wedding Ceremony Program Template:

Welcome!

Thank you so much for joining us for our wedding. We are very happy that you have come to share our special day with us.  We have prepared this guide to the ceremony and customs of the traditional Jewish wedding to enhance your participation in the celebration.

A wedding reflects a new beginning for the couple, a day likened in significance to Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), the most sacred day of the Jewish calendar. As on Yom Kippur, when repentance wipes the slate clean between G-d and humanity, today the couple begins a new phase in their lives. The parallel between Yom Kippur and the wedding day is also reflected in the clothing [groom's name] and [bride's name] wear. As a symbol of purity and forgiveness, they both wear white – [bride's name] in her wedding gown and [groom's name] in a kittel, a robe typically used for prayer on the high holy days.

Kaballat Panim:

Greeting the Chatan & Kallah

On their wedding day, the Chatan and Kallah are treated with special honor, as guests endeavor to fulfill the mitzvah (commandment) of mis’ameach Chatan v’Kallah (gladdening the groom and bride) in the time prior to the ceremony where guests have the opportunity to greet them. While [bride's name] receives guests in one room, [groom's name] sits in a separate room at the chatan’s tisch - literally, the groom’s table.

The Ketubah (Marriage Contract)

At the Chatan’s tisch, the contractual obligations surrounding the marriage are finalized. [Groom's name] accepts the terms of the ketubah (marriage contract), a two-thousand-year-old Aramaic text which obliges [groom's name] to honor, support, and maintain his future wife, [bride's name].  The signing of the ketubah expresses the idea that any declaration of love must be accompanied by both legal obligations and moral commitment.

[Groom's name] formally accepts his obligations by accepting a token physical object (a handkerchief), which [the Rabbi's name] hands him. Two witnesses then sign the ketubah, as required by Jewish law. At the conclusion of the tisch, guests accompany [groom's name] with dancing and singing as he walks to [bride's name] for the bedeken.

Bedeken (Veiling of the Kallah)

The word “bedeken” has two meanings, each originating from a particular episode in Genesis. The first definition for the word is “to check” so that the groom will not find himself in the same predicament as the patriarch Jacob who, after working seven years for Laban to earn Rachel’s hand, was deceived and given Leah instead (Gen. 29:21-25). The second meaning is “to cover” as illustrated in the story of Rebecca who covered herself with a veil when she saw her husband-to-be, Isaac, for the first time (Gen. 24:65).  At the bedeken, [Groom's name] looks at [bride's name] face and confirms that she is his chosen bride and lowers the veil, thus symbolically setting her apart from others.

After the bedeken, guests proceed to the ceremony room and take their seats. 

The Ceremony

Chuppah (Marriage Canopy)

The chuppah is a symbol of the home that [groom's name] and [bride's name] will build together.  All four sides are left open so that the public may be part of the ceremony and as a representation of the tent of Abraham and Sara that was also open on all four sides emphasizing the Jewish value of hospitality towards guests.

The groom and bride are each escorted to the chuppah by their dear parents, [groom's name] by his parents, [groom's parents names], and [bride's name] by her parents, [bride's parents names].  When [bride's name] reaches the chuppah, she circles [groom's name] seven times. There are many explanations for the seven circles.  By circling the Chatan, the Kallah symbolically supplies walls to the chuppah, thereby separating the couple from the rest of society, a private space where only the two of them may enter.  The seven circles also represent each of the days of creation and a link to the seven patriarchs and matriarchs. When [bride's name] has finished circling [groom's name], she stands at his right, in remembrance of the verse, “At my right hand does the queen stand.” (Psalms 45:10). 

The ceremony proper has two parts - Kiddushin (betrothal) and Nissuin (marriage blessings). Each of these components begins with a blessing over a cup of wine, the traditional Jewish mark of joyous ritual.

Kiddushin (Betrothal)

The Mesader Kiddushin (officiating Rabbi), [the rabbi's name], begins the ceremony reciting the Birchat Erusin (betrothal blessings).  Introducing the people being called up for honors will be [name of the person introducing the people].  The first blessing is over a cup of wine and the second blessing expresses gratitude to G-d for allowing the sanctification of the relationship through marriage.  After the blessings, [groom's name] and [bride's name] drink from the cup of wine.

This is followed by the central act of the entire day – the giving and acceptance of the wedding ring. Since marriage in Jewish law is a contract between a husband and wife, it is transacted symbolically with a transfer of an object of worth.  The ring is a solid band of metal with no stones set in it, so that its value may be easily ascertained and to show equality to all.  As a ring has neither a beginning nor an end, it is representative of the cycle of life.

As [groom's name] places the ring onto [bride's name] right forefinger – in the presence of two honored witnesses – he states “Haray aht mikudeshet li b’tabaat zo kidaat Moshe v’Yisrael” -  “Behold you are consecrated to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.”

In the Garden of Eden, G-d took one of Adam’s ribs (or sides) to create Eve, Adam’s wife. In this way, Adam was no longer complete, having had his rib/side taken from him. The Bible then continues, “Thus a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, so that they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Thus, in our wedding ceremony, when [groom's name] makes the “Haray Aht” statement, he is acknowledging to [bride's name] that by marrying her he is finally complete.

It is [groom's name] giving and [bride's name] acceptance of the ring that joins them as husband and wife. As soon as [groom's name] places the ring on [bride's name] finger, they are considered legally married according to Jewish law.

Reading of the Ketubah

The ketubah is read aloud in the original Aramaic and repeated in English  It is then given to [bride's name] to keep, confirming her acceptance of its terms. 

Nissuin (Marriage Blessing)

This part of the ceremony consists of Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) recited by a number of honorees.  The Sheva Brachot put the marriage in a historical and spiritual context and thank G-d for: 1) the fruit of the vine, the traditional symbol of joy and sanctity; 2) the creation of the world; 3) the creation of humanity; 4) the wisdom, intelligence, and free will with which every person is endowed; 5) the joy and happiness of Zion; 6) the joy of the bride and groom; and 7) a wish for the couple’s delight, cheer, love, harmony, peace and companionship in their lives together.  After the final blessing over the wine, [groom's name] and [bride's name] drink from the second cup.

The Breaking of the Glass

The service is concluded by the singing of  “Im eskachech Yerushalayim tishkach yimini” - “If I forget Thee Jerusalem, I should lose the power of my right hand”.  [Groom's name] then shatters a glass, symbolizing that even in the midst of our great joy we remember the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash (the holy temple in Jerusalem) two thousand years ago.  The breaking of the glass completes the ceremony.

After the Ceremony

Yichud (Togetherness)

Immediately following the ceremony, [groom's name] and [bride's name] will recess to a private room for the period known as yichud.  Two shomrim (guards) are posted at the door and no interruptions are permitted. This allows the couple to break their fast and to savor the first few moments of married life together. After the seclusion, the couple will return shortly to the guests.

Seudat Mitzvah (Wedding Meal)

The mitzvah (commandment) of mis’ameach chatan v’kallah (gladdening the groom and bride) continues at the wedding meal.  As the newlyweds enter the reception room, they are greeted by traditional dancing and singing. In accordance with Jewish tradition, men and women dance in separate circles. It is customary for as many of the guests as possible to dance individually with the bride and groom in the center of their respective circles.  Since it is the spirit of the dancing, not the choreography, that is important, we encourage every guest to join in. More dancing and celebration takes place between courses. Before dessert is served, we recite the Birchat Hamazon (Grace after Meals) and a repetition of the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings). Dessert and more dancing will follow.

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The Ceremony Program then concludes with the Groom and Bride's Procession, listing out the names of family members and / or friends that will be walking down the isle by order of appearance.

Hebrew Wedding Invitation Ideas

Hebrew / English wedding invitations that compete with the crème de la crème of modern wedding invitation designs offered by the elite of wedding invitation venues can be challenging to find, especially at the right price. While there are certainly exclusive places that will customize anything at the “right” price, most wedding invitation venues (that do not cater to the Jewish target) do not offer off-the-shelf Hebrew wedding invitation designs. In fact, they will tell you the challenges if they were to design a Hebrew wedding invitation such as:

• They don’t have a Hebrew translator on staff: You, the customer, will need to find someone to provide the Hebrew typed out and edited.
• Font size will be too small: Font size will be too small to fit on the invitation designs they offer to include both English and Hebrew.
• Your personal symbol cannot be printed on the invitation: While it is traditional for the kallah and chosson to design a symbol that represents their unity as husband and wife (typically, entwined Hebrew letters representing each of their Hebrew names in the form of some design and found on the wedding invitations, benchers, and / or ceremony booklets), the invitation venue may not be able to print your symbol on the invitation unless you provide a high enough quality graphical image.

These were some of the barriers that I experienced when working some of the highest rated wedding invitation venues out there. Thus, the easier route is to find a wedding invitation venue that caters to the Jewish crowd. Unfortunately, their presence on the web may be disappointing, not providing enough wedding invitation samples online to give you the motivation to go visit their store or order a sample. Further, once you visit their store and are shown samples, you may be sifting through hundreds of samples before finding the sleek, modern or unique varieties you had in mind. But being prepared with samples that you can show these venues will help resolve (most) of the challenges you may experience. Here are some Hebrew wedding invitation varieties to consider:

Redcherry Press offers both traditional and contemporary designs:

Cohen Printing and Invitations offers several Hebrew invitation layouts that can be viewed online:

Stephita provides stylish bilingual options:

Invitations Online offers Hebrew invitation designs:

Questions?  Email me or post a Comment.

Kate Middleton's Wedding Gown: Royally Modest

As predicted, Kate Middleton’s wedding gown was designed by Alexander McQueen’s Sarah Burton.  A beautifully elegant gown made of ivory and white satin gazar that some have already compared to Grace Kelly’s wedding gown.  The A-Line cut is flattering to Kate’s figure.  The ivory lace overlay that covers her shoulders and arms and sweetheart neckline give the dress a romantic and vintage feel.  The crispness of the folds from the waist down provides a classic and sleek finish to the shape.

Kate’s wedding gown is not quite as dramatic as one could have expected with an Alexander McQueen dress, but  Kate looked stunning as the bride and as her first appearance as Princess Katherine.

The diamond earrings gifted to Kate by her parents are what I believe take the dress to the next level and provides a subtle addition that lifts the dress into a more modern and youthful feel…possibly a reflection of Princess Katherine’s character as a new addition to the Royal Family.

But the day is not over yet, and Kate may be wearing a couple more dresses before the evening ends.  

The Sheva Brachot / Seven Blessings: A Quick Reference for Hebrew, English & Transliterated

Sheva brachot / Seven Blessings* are first read under the chuppah, said again during Grace After Meal at the end the reception in the traditional Jewish wedding, and then during each of the six meals that are held after the wedding. The bride and groom can choose several close family members or friends to participate in reading these blessings, and it is considered an honor for a person to be selected to say one of the seven blessings.

Since there are a total of 14 blessings to be read for the two sheva brachot at the wedding (7 blessings under the chuppah + 7 blessings after the reception), this means the bride and groom can give honors to up to 14 people in fulfilling the mitzvah of the sheva brachot. That being said, not all people honored with reading a blessing from the sheva brachot can read Hebrew fluidly, and would like to either read the blessing in Transliteration or in English.

It is incredibly handy to provide your honored person with a sheet of paper that has the Sheva Brachot in bigger print than a prayer book and offers all three options: Hebrew, Transliterated and English. Further, there is no need to memorize which honored person will be reciting which of the seven blessings. Rather, it is highly recommended to include in the paper that has the seven blessings with Hebrew, Transliteration and English the names of the honored people that are associated with each of these blessings.

Below is a template that you can fill-out and print out as a handy reference to use while at your wedding.


Please note:  If you print the table represented below please note this table is holy, and must be treated as such. When finished, please deposit into your local Genezah / at a synagogue.

Sheva Brachot Said Under Chuppah and Grace After Meals:  click on the table to get a complete view







 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
*  The term “sheva brachot” translates to the Seven Blessings and is also a term used to describe the seven meals that are shared with family, friends, people within the community and acquaintances starting with the Wedding Reception as the first of the seven meals since the chuppah.

The Perfect Chuppah: Ideas and ways to save money

In my opinion, the Chuppah represents the climax of an Orthodox Jewish Wedding.  It is under the Chuppah that the kallah walks seven times around the chosson, where the key blessings are said that transition a man and woman into a husband and wife, it is where two souls symbolically become one, and it is the first place that this union in marriage is recognized by all.   Thus, creating a magnificent and spiritually significant environment can enhance these precious moments under the Chuppah.  But creating such a special environment does not have to be expensive. 

If you find yourself doing a tremendous amount of online research searching for the “best” chuppah provided by the most highly recommended chuppah builders, then you may not realize that chuppah’s are typically provided as an option by your Florist.  So, if you’ve already found your florist, you can ask to see examples of chuppah’s they have done, but be forewarned that a florist will most likely suggest chuppah options that include lots of flowers (not surprisingly) that will hike up costs.  Do not be seduced by their elaborate showcase of floral chuppahs.  Instead of doing a traditional chuppah with all the bells and whistles of flowers upon flower upon flowers (and more dollars upon dollars upon dollars spent), here are some stylish ideas that can significantly reduce costs spent on your Chuppah:

Simple Chuppah:  I think this chuppah, with just four black poles and loose white fabric is beautifully simple yet easy on the wallet.  Understated yet exquisite details such as the lace that is loosely wrapped around the chosson and kallah create intimacy, the smooth chandelier adds a sleek style, and a pink bundle of flowers located on each side look as though they are levitating, take this simple chuppah to the next level.

 

Unique Chuppah:  What I love most about this chuppah is that the branches are the main component used to create an elaborate feel to counterbalance the elaborate backdrop.  The combination of branches and lighting can create a natural feel at an inexpensive price.

Elegant Chuppah:  You can have a traditional style chuppah that looks elegant without extravagant flowers.  A few greens on the sides add a little color; while the white material gathered at the top of the chuppah add softness and a heavenly glow.

Tallit Chuppah:  Using the tallit for the top of the chuppah is an easy way of creating a religious tone to the chuppah without spending a dime.

Personalized Chuppah:  Another way to reduce the costs of the chuppah without sacrificing style is to personalize the top cover of the chuppah by having close friends and family participate in making the top cover:   send a handful of friends or relatives a blank piece of square cloth, and then have them add a personal symbolic design to the cloth and send the cloth back to you or someone that will be responsible for sowing the pieces of cloth together.  The combined pieces of cloth, each with their independent, unique and personalized designs will become a mosaic cover for the top of the chuppah at a minimal price.

The Perfect Modest Bridesmaid Dress: Ideas for modest and long-sleeve

If I had to choose one wedding item where I lost the most sleep, it would have to be finding the perfect bridesmaid dresses for my bridesmaids.  I wanted something modest and classic with a slight edge, something my bridesmaids could wear again as an evening dress...and I wanted the price to be inexpensive.  Such criteria was nearly impossible to find, and I went down a few paths before making the final choice.  If you are also struggling to find modest bridesmaids gowns that are inexpensive yet fashionable, check out these options:

• Dressy Undershirt:  This is the most flexible option and possibly the least costly to transform a not-so-modest bridesmaid dress into a modest one.  But it only works if the fabric of the dressy undershirt is sleek enough to blend in with the bridesmaid dress and serve as long-sleeves:
• Kiki Riki (~$17):  The "Kiki Riki" is a  brand that has become widely known among the Orthodox Jewish world as the undershirt of choice for making a dress more modest.  The 80% cotton / 10% spandex fabric blend along with being only ~$17 / shirt makes this a popular option for transforming practically any non-modest bridesmaid dress into the perfect one.  The catch is trying to track down stores that sell Kiki Riki's, which mainly seem to be in the heart of Orthodox communities or sold online by small businesses.  

• Designer Loft (~$100):  Designer Loft sells a satin shirt that would be worn underneath the dress to provide coverage of chest and arms (comes in black, white, and tan).  Just ask them about it.
• Customized Chinese Gowns:  As I noted in a previous blog, customized Chinese gowns offer a wide variety of long-sleeve gowns along with an exotic flair.  Just be careful about the slits on the side of the dress which may require added stitching.
• Good Orient:  Good Orient's website offers up some fun Chinese gowns that have sleeves.  On the one hand, traditional Chinese gowns can allow for a little mystery that ensures some modesty in the cut and style of the gown.  On the other hand, the mystery can also be risque with the long slits down the side of the legs.  So, keep in mind that the slits should be sown up to keep it modest.  Should you choose this exotic option for bridesmaid dresses, I recommend ordering one dress as a test before ordering several of them to ensure your satisfaction.  Below is a silk cheongsam with mandarin collar and medium sleeves that can be customized by size, color and material, and only costs a mere $94.74.  
 

• Matching Jacket, Bolero or Blazer: I found these examples on Dillard's website:

• Department Store Websites:  Dillard's, Macy's, Bloomingdale's; or try TJ Formal
• Search under" Mother-of-the-Bride" dresses:  Not all Mother-of-the-Bride dresses are matronly, and you may even find "Bridesmaid" dresses at these department stores with longsleeves.  

Left:  "JS Collections Lace & Crepe Gown" ($220); Right:  "Landa Modest Bridesmaid Dress A008" ($158)

• The Wrap:   This may not be realistic for dancing unless it is pinned down properly. However, it a great as a last minute solution for brides pressed with time.  Below is an example of how wrapping material around your shoulders and arms and tying loosely in the back can transform a dress into a modest and romantic look for your bridesmaids.  

• Customized Modest Gown:  Find a fabric store or designer and choose a color / fabric and dress style for your bridesmaids to have tailored.  While this can be costly, there is room for negotiating a set price per dress if you have several bridesmaids.  I ended up choosing a reputable designer in Staten Island known for designing Orthodox Jewish modest bridesmaids gowns and paid $163 / dress.  When I saw a strappy dress that I liked in her store and imagined a more modest version of it, the designer was flexible and said she could use a similar design as the strappy dress and add sleeves. 

Questions on choosing your bridesmaid dress?  Feel free to email me.

Metro-NY Kosher Catering Cost Estimates

Outsourcing a kosher caterer that can cater at practically any venue can be particularly liberating to those of you that want to throw a more unique kind of wedding.  Maybe you want to have your wedding at a posh NYC loft, at a venue that overlooks a waterfront, maybe you have always dreamed of throwing your wedding at a farm or in the park, or maybe the idea of having your wedding at a traditional-style Jewish wedding hall is not appeasing to you.   All of these thoughts crossed my mind when planning my wedding, which is why I have pricing estimates from some of the most popular kosher caterers of Metro-NY on catering at some of these sorts of venues.

Just remember, when looking for a top quality kosher caterer at an affordable, the most inexpensive route is to go to a venue that offers in-house kosher catering, as the total price per person includes the venue, service, and food.  Further, the effort and work involved in outsourcing a kosher catering is far more labor intensive since the food, equipment and service must be transported and all kosher cooking logistics considered, impacting costs.

So, how much does it cost to hire an outside kosher caterer for your wedding at any venue (i.e., a bare bones loft studio or a non-kosher restaurant with a spectacular view of the water)?  Not surprising, kosher caterers may be reluctant to provide cost estimates on catering an event without having a “meeting” to discuss all the specifics and logistics since the price range can vary based on factors such as:   

• the type of menu, 
• number of people, 
• venue, 
• staffing (rabbinical supervision and servers and / or bartenders), 
• time of year, 
• style of food, 
• sit-down versus buffet-style reception, 
• number of offered dishes (Meat, Chicken, Fish, Vegetarian), 
• sushi (typically adds to the cost), dessert plate options, and other bells and whistles, 
• whether they have a relationship with the venue, 
• whether they have to supply plates / flatware / stemware, etc.   

Further, some caterers will give deeper discounts the higher the number of guests that you can guarantee.  Caterers may differ on their flexibility with negotiating a lower price, and/or will provide tweaks to the menu to be able to lower costs.  

While I cannot provide price ranges that reflect your specific kosher catering needs, I can provide the cost estimates that I was given for my Feb’10 wedding of 200 guests.  Considering all of the aforementioned factors, my objective was to get the minimum cost to have an outside kosher caterer supply the food at venues such as the ones listed in the top ten affordable venues in Manhattan.

The following cost estimates are based solely on providing the kosher food for a wedding (schmorg, cocktail hour, Meat/Chicken/Fish/Veg reception, and dessert), and note additional costs such as the mashgiach, servers, bartenders, tables/linens, flatware/stemware, alcohol, etc are not included: