How to Build up Bridesmaid Dresses

I have to admit that I went a little insane when trying to figure out the best choice for bridesmaid dresses that were modest yet stylish and unique (and inexpensive!).  If you already haven’t noticed, it’s hard to find off-the-rack bridesmaids dresses with sleeves.  One common approach to resolve this issue is to select a fabric and color to be used for building the dress and have your bridesmaids figure out the seamstress situation...the design, cut and cost of the dress.  I chose not to take that approach, mainly to ensure that the dresses were not too expensive.  So, what did I do?

1. The Look:  Find pictures of the perfect modest bridesmaid dress:  I used the internet to find inspiring long-sleeve styles. Check out these ideas.
2. Where to Purchase:  Determine whether the dresses that you found inspiring are accessible, reasonably priced, and can be purchased online or at a local store. 
• I couldn't access the dresses I wanted.  I found a great dress online that I would have purchased but it would take too long to arrive with enough allotted time for alterations.  Instead, I got the brand of the dress and the style number so I could refer to the dress when inquiring whether a seamstress could make it or order it and make alterations in time.
3. Reasonably Priced Seamstresses:  Assuming the dresses cannot be purchased online or at a store, find reasonably priced tailors or seamstresses that make custom gowns in your area.  This can be tricky since most seamstresses may not want to give price estimates over the phone.  They will say they need specifics such as the style and material of the dress.  Ideally, you should be prepared to email or refer them online to pictures of dresses that include the style number and designer’s name.  If they still won’t provide estimates, DO NOT give up –some seamstresses may be reluctant to provide estimates but trust me, there are seamstresses willing to work something out.  Find a seamstress willing to give an estimate, but don’t hang up until you have negotiated the best offer. 
4. Negotiating with the Seamstress:  You’ve already found the look you want and can refer to the brand and style number of the dress.  Have the seamstress go online and view the dress to determine if s/he can make the dress or order it and make alterations in time.  Show that the dress online costs x amount and state that you cannot spend over y amount per dress.  If there are at least a handful of bridesmaids, you can also sell the fact that you are buying in bulk.        
• After calling four seamstresses that were unwilling to provide estimates over the phone or were unwilling to try to work something out I was about to give up and give in to pulling out my hair.  I hung in there and called the fifth seamstress on my list.  She was amazing – right from the start it was obvious she was the one.  Why?  When I asked her if she had any Landa long-sleeve dresses and she said no, she immediately followed up with “but I can customize a dress just like that”.  I responded that a customized dress sounds expensive and her response was “what is your price range”.  I said the Landa dress was $150 and I wanted to pay somewhere in that ballpark.  We negotiated to $163 per dress… an amazing deal for tailored long-sleeve bridesmaid dresses that had the look and feel I envisioned.
• Who was this amazing seamstress?  Jacqueline from Staten Island (718.370.3936; jkline46@aol.com ), and yes it was 110% worth driving from Manhattan to Staten Island to get fabulous long-sleeve bridesmaid dresses at a discounted price. 
5. The Pseudo Bridesmaid Fitting (a fitting without having to go to the seamstress):  Now that you’ve negotiated a reasonable price, you need to have your bridesmaids fitted.  But this could be a problem if they live far from the seamstress.  No worries!  My seamstress was willing to have each bridesmaid fax over or email specified dimensions.  My seamstress provided the bridesmaids with a form that had a picture of a woman and all of the measurements needed for each part of the body.  This is a list of measurements she needed with sample inches per part:        
• Bust: 32"
• Waist: 27.5"
• Abdomen: 32" 
• Hip: 39" 
• Shoulder to Shoulder: 12.5" 
• Shoulder to Shoulder Back: 13.5" 
• Center Back Length: 15" 
• Arm Around: 10" 
•  Dress Length: 54"
• Sleeve Length: 15"
6. Since my seamstress was inconveniently located for my bridesmaids, I picked up all bridesmaids dresses and gave them to my bridesmaids at my bridal shower.  End of story!  It’s that easy :)

Stylish Modest Bridesmaid’s Dresses

If you’re looking for long-sleeve evening dresses now is the time to find them.  As the winter months approach, several major department stores offer a wider selection of long-sleeve options.  Not to mention, you’ll find sales, discounts and perks like free shipping and free returns at these stores around this time.  I’ve found the best selection of stylish modest dresses to be at Macy’s, Nordstrom, Dillard’s and Bloomingdales.  While some of these dresses can get pricey, most are affordable and don’t require a schlep to a seamstress for customized cuts.  

There are also certain brands that tend to offer long-sleeve options in their selection of styles.  Brands such as SL Fashions, Alex Evenings, Adrianna Papell, JS Collections, Maggy London, and Diane Von Furstenberg offer some elegant modest styles.

Check out these stylish modest bridesmaid’s dresses:

 Still can't find the perfect long-sleeve dress for your special occasion?  Feel free to contact me or type a  comment in the Comment section.

Bridesmaid Dress Coupon

If you're looking for deals on modest and stylish bridesmaid dresses, look no farther.  I am excited to say that not only is Macy's offering a $25 Off coupon on bridesmaids dresses, some of these dresses are actually affordable and modest / can easily be made more modest.  To learn more about making a dress more modest, click here for ideas.

Take $25 Off Bridesmaid Dresses at Macy's, ends 6/15/11! CODE: BM25
Check out some of Macy's highly rated and affordable bridesmaids dresses that can easily be made more modest:

 Comments?  Feel free to post a comment or email me.

The Perfect Modest Bridesmaid Dress: Ideas for modest and long-sleeve

If I had to choose one wedding item where I lost the most sleep, it would have to be finding the perfect bridesmaid dresses for my bridesmaids.  I wanted something modest and classic with a slight edge, something my bridesmaids could wear again as an evening dress...and I wanted the price to be inexpensive.  Such criteria was nearly impossible to find, and I went down a few paths before making the final choice.  If you are also struggling to find modest bridesmaids gowns that are inexpensive yet fashionable, check out these options:

• Dressy Undershirt:  This is the most flexible option and possibly the least costly to transform a not-so-modest bridesmaid dress into a modest one.  But it only works if the fabric of the dressy undershirt is sleek enough to blend in with the bridesmaid dress and serve as long-sleeves:
• Kiki Riki (~$17):  The "Kiki Riki" is a  brand that has become widely known among the Orthodox Jewish world as the undershirt of choice for making a dress more modest.  The 80% cotton / 10% spandex fabric blend along with being only ~$17 / shirt makes this a popular option for transforming practically any non-modest bridesmaid dress into the perfect one.  The catch is trying to track down stores that sell Kiki Riki's, which mainly seem to be in the heart of Orthodox communities or sold online by small businesses.  

• Designer Loft (~$100):  Designer Loft sells a satin shirt that would be worn underneath the dress to provide coverage of chest and arms (comes in black, white, and tan).  Just ask them about it.
• Customized Chinese Gowns:  As I noted in a previous blog, customized Chinese gowns offer a wide variety of long-sleeve gowns along with an exotic flair.  Just be careful about the slits on the side of the dress which may require added stitching.
• Good Orient:  Good Orient's website offers up some fun Chinese gowns that have sleeves.  On the one hand, traditional Chinese gowns can allow for a little mystery that ensures some modesty in the cut and style of the gown.  On the other hand, the mystery can also be risque with the long slits down the side of the legs.  So, keep in mind that the slits should be sown up to keep it modest.  Should you choose this exotic option for bridesmaid dresses, I recommend ordering one dress as a test before ordering several of them to ensure your satisfaction.  Below is a silk cheongsam with mandarin collar and medium sleeves that can be customized by size, color and material, and only costs a mere $94.74.  
 

• Matching Jacket, Bolero or Blazer: I found these examples on Dillard's website:

• Department Store Websites:  Dillard's, Macy's, Bloomingdale's; or try TJ Formal
• Search under" Mother-of-the-Bride" dresses:  Not all Mother-of-the-Bride dresses are matronly, and you may even find "Bridesmaid" dresses at these department stores with longsleeves.  

Left:  "JS Collections Lace & Crepe Gown" ($220); Right:  "Landa Modest Bridesmaid Dress A008" ($158)

• The Wrap:   This may not be realistic for dancing unless it is pinned down properly. However, it a great as a last minute solution for brides pressed with time.  Below is an example of how wrapping material around your shoulders and arms and tying loosely in the back can transform a dress into a modest and romantic look for your bridesmaids.  

• Customized Modest Gown:  Find a fabric store or designer and choose a color / fabric and dress style for your bridesmaids to have tailored.  While this can be costly, there is room for negotiating a set price per dress if you have several bridesmaids.  I ended up choosing a reputable designer in Staten Island known for designing Orthodox Jewish modest bridesmaids gowns and paid $163 / dress.  When I saw a strappy dress that I liked in her store and imagined a more modest version of it, the designer was flexible and said she could use a similar design as the strappy dress and add sleeves. 

Questions on choosing your bridesmaid dress?  Feel free to email me.

Top Online Wedding Websites and Why

The internet can be your BFF when looking for customer satisfaction and ratings on products, services, etc. On the other hand, wedding websites can be overwhelming and a jungle to sift through to get the information you want. I have made the most of my cyber wedding research and have learned which websites are most useful and how best they can be used:

Jewish wedding resource website:
There may be thousands of Jewish wedding-related websites out there, but there were slim pickings on the quality sites.

• Top Jewish Wedding Resource: http://www.chossonandkallah.com/new-york/#ref=menu
•  When I wanted to know all reception venues that include kosher catering in the NY-NJ area, I went to this site.  The site also provides contact information on several other venues that specialize in serving the Orthodox Jewish audience.

Weather website for checking forecasted weather on your wedding date:
The Weather Channel offers a Wedding Planner to help you estimate what the weather will be like on the date of your wedding.

• Visit the wedding planner section of weather.com at: http://www.weather.com/activities/events/weddings/?from=expireduser

Websites for brides that want to be married in Metro- New York at a decent price:
I searched everyway on the internet looking for tips on how to throw a wedding in NYC within a small budget, and I found a few sites that did just that:

• Best ideas for throwing a New York City wedding without going broke
  While New York Magazine does not offer specific advice on throwing a kosher Orthodox Jewish wedding, some of their articles share some great ideas on how to minimize costs and a directory of wedding locations and estimated pricing:
  - Bang for your Buck, by Rachel Wolff: http://nymag.com/weddings/planner/2007/winter/venues/
  - Locations Directory: http://nymag.com/weddings/listings/locations/
• Some of the Best Places to Get Married in NYC are Cheap!
  The Foundry and the Prince George Ballroom were ranked among the top 10 NYC wedding locations (http://weddings.about.com/od/weddinglocations/ss/NYCLocations_5.htm), yet they are quite affordable.

Websites to find inexpensive Modest Bridesmaid dresses:
In the secular world, finding a sophisticated yet trendy modest bridesmaid dress is like searching for a needle in a hay stack, unless you don’t mind having them wear sweaters or jackets to cover (eh hem) some skin. On the other hand, my fellow religious Jewish friends and their mothers suggested choosing a fabric and having the bridesmaid get the dress tailored, which would have cost over $250.

• An interesting alternative to the tradition bridesmaid gown is to turn to Chinese dresses (also referred to as Cheongsams or Qipao). Some websites allow you to customize the fabric and design of the dress, and some of these dresses offer full coverage and silk brocade fabric for less than $150. For the best quality and customer service go to: http://www.finechineseclothing.com/eng/product/detail.aspx?ProductID=1932
• If you are a more conservative type, one suggestion is to search through the “Mother of the Bride” wedding section found at websites such as Dillard’s, Macy’s or Bloomingdales, which will provide more modest looks. Although some of those prices are jacked up, and the looks are not the most “fun” for younger women.

Best website for reading reviews / ratings on anything wedding-related:
There are countless wedding resource websites on the Net exploding with information without providing bottom-line reviews and ratings of wedding venues, photography, makeup and hair, etc. 

• If you are a numbers person like me and want concrete reviews or ratings with supportive evidence before making a purchase then look no further than Wedding Wire:  http://www.weddingwire.com/
• Wedding Wire helped me find a highly rated make-up / hair professional in the area where I was getting married.  Knowing this information saved me money on transportation costs and save me worry on whether the professional was worthy.